piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
