Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We got so high we made milksteak
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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