You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.