her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party