The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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