I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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