Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.