Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
