Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.