are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check