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• (850): View more from Florida

  So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Just look for the house with the beer knights.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me

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• (530): View more from California

  He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!

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• (425): View more from Washington

  VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN

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