had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?