She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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