Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
ttyl tear gas
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!