Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.