I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
