i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
