i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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