I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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