my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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