I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
