i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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