Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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