Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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