So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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