Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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