You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
