You're completely useless in the revolution.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
