haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize