Your mouth is God's brothel.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
