we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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