im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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