Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
