Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
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The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
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And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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