: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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