its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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