So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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