Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
