May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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