Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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