Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
