I'm an idiot
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
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If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
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Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."