I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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