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Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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