He kissed a someone with a penis
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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