I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
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He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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