I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
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Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
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I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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