My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
