kristin has been a bad kristin
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize