Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
