I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize