He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
