his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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