He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize