Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
