she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
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What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
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On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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