No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
soo... how was my night?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
