it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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